Antique Beast

'Poetry is man's rebellion against being what he is.' ~James Branch Cabell
25. F. Melb, AU. wizard. seriously..
dominalumina:

mirahxox:

gallifrey-feels:

shadow-of-a-whisper:

jumpropejellyfish:

miau-is-me:

luvr4photography:

radiogrimshaw:

annathemoony:

soupnbananaz:


littleartemis:


radiogrimshaw:


radiogrimshaw:


ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm


i know there are some writers who follow me
please
take note


I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.
So writers, take note.


jesus h. christ


I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.
Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.
Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.
A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.
So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.
This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.
Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.

ive learned a lot today omg

i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this

#huge dicks are like communism

why am i reblogging this

As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*

hermetically sealed shame basket
communist dicks
this post is gold

huge dicks are like communismI cannot stop laughing.omg

ded

dominalumina:

mirahxox:

gallifrey-feels:

shadow-of-a-whisper:

jumpropejellyfish:

miau-is-me:

luvr4photography:

radiogrimshaw:

annathemoony:

soupnbananaz:

littleartemis:

radiogrimshaw:

radiogrimshaw:

ten inch dick aka longer than my forearm

i know there are some writers who follow me

please

take note

I believe the average is 6 inches? The longest is 14, an he suffers dizziness when he gets a boner, and even though he’s heterosexual, he can only have sex with men (or anally with women) as his cock can’t fit in a vagina.

So writers, take note.

jesus h. christ

I once had a boyfriend who was quite well-endowed, and that was some painful, annoying shit right there (especially with a selfish dude who didn’t really think about that/blamed me for being “tiny,” what the fuck). The average vagina is 3-4 inches deep, though some women may have a depth of 6-7 inches.

Of course, a lady’s Sarlaac Pit is designed to accomodate rather large things. That does not, however, mean that it is comfortable or fun to have those large things in your hermetically-sealed shame basket, not to mention have it ramming repeatedly against your cervix. Ow fucking ow.

Contrary to popular belief, bigger is NOT ALWAYS BETTER.

A rectum can be between 5-7 inches deep. A pliable dildo could push past that, taking that sharp curve into the large intestine, if you’re patient and flexible and you have a lot of lube at your disposal. And you don’t mind things being in your INTESTINES, oh my God. A hard dick, however, that isn’t so bendy, would be another story entirely.

So if you’re shooting for realistic sex and your bottom isn’t into pain, you may want to reconsider giving your top anything over 7-8 inches of dick. 10+ inches might sound awesome but like Communism, for most people at least, it’s better in theory than it is in practice.

This very NSFW and TMI-imbued post brought to you by all the fucks I do not give.

Oh and if anyone accuses me of kink shaming I will find you and I will skin you.

ive learned a lot today omg

i think the last of my innocence just got killed reading this

#huge dicks are like communism

why am i reblogging this

As a writer, I genuinely thank you. Thank God for tumblr. Where the hell else am I going to learn this sort of stuff? Not school or my parents, that’s for damn sure. *sighs*

hermetically sealed shame basket

communist dicks

this post is gold

huge dicks are like communism
I cannot stop laughing.
omg

ded

(Source: michaelgclifford, via reginadentata)

samanticshift:

hisgracekingstannisibaratheon:

samanticshift:

hisgracekingstannisibaratheon:

[cut for length - sam]

Again, being a white male requires me to accept abuse without complaint because of “systematic oppression” which I had no part putting in place, right? Tell me: how does this move the world forward towards equality? Does perpetually punishing us even though not all of us are “neck beard MRAs” make you feel better about yourselves? If so, that’s really sad.

If you truly consider Aziz Ansari joking about white dudes in bars “abuse,” I want your life, dudebro.

And no, joking about people like you doesn’t make us “feel better about ourselves”; it makes us laugh, and does not contribute to any systemic oppression against you. As I’ve told your dumb ass before, not everything has to “move the world toward equality.” Joking about privileged groups is harmless and fun.

And while you may not have “put systemic oppression in place” (lolwut), you do perpetuate and benefit from it. Like right now.

But please, keep trying to sound smart. I’m dying over here.

How the holy fuck am I perpetuating oppression by saying “hey, don’t make broad generalizations about my group”?  How is one thing related to the other?

Joking about privileged groups is harmless and fun.

Yeah, well the kids in school who used to pick on me day in & day out thought it was “harmless and fun” too.  Sure, to the people doing the joking, of course it’s “harmless and fun”.

How can you possibly be this unable to put yourself in someone else’s shoes??

I’m going to explain something to you in very simple language, and then I’m going to need you to shut the fuck up.

You have been harping on about a fucking joke about white men in backward hats and button-downs since last night. Apparently, simply going the fuck to sleep and starting the day anew was not enough to ease your pain. Now, what was the punchline of this joke? It was “if you’re a white dude who dresses badly and hangs out in a bar, I probably hate you.”

Now imagine what the rest of us go through.

I get hateful messages in my inbox calling me—me specifically—“cunt,” “bitch,” and various other names simply for being a woman on the internet. I get these messages at least once a week.

I have been raped numerous times by a white man. I have been roofied by a white man. I have been chased to my apartment building late at night by a group of white men. I have received rape threats from a white male co-worker who also shoved me against a wall, held a paper towel over my mouth, and asked me if it “smells like chloroform.” I am harassed by men—mostly white ones—on a daily basis. Oh, and there was also this lovely series of messages. (Heed the trigger warnings.)

And you expect me to give one flying fuck about how you feel about this? About a harmless joke that doesn’t target you specifically, doesn’t perpetuate or reflect systemic discrimination against white men, doesn’t use slurs, and was delivered by a man of color who has undoubtedly dealt with a whole lot of shit from white guys?

Really? This is where your priorities lie?

You are a grade-A piece of shit, and you have no business trying to call me out for anything. If Aziz Ansari had personally hunted your pathetic self down and berated you for your fashion sense I might have kinda sorta seen where you were coming from (although the idea of him doing that is hilarious), but this particular joke has fuck all to do with you. You’re not being bullied. You’re not being harmed. All you have to do to avoid this shit is fucking scroll past it. But the rest of us deal with discrimination and oppression every fucking day of our lives. You expect me to care about your white boy button-down feelings? I don’t. I will never care about your feelings so long as my PTSD wakes me in the middle of the night and people tell me I’m worth less because I’m a disabled woman, that I need to shut up, that I should keep starving myself until I, yknow, die.

If your priorities truly lie with jokes like this, you need to sit down and rethink your entire miserable fucking life. Because you know what’s more important?

Literally anything else.

You want me to put myself in your fucking shoes? Try mine, you absolute piece of garbage.

Also, everyone knows white boys wear ugly shoes.

(Source: camelotandcastiel, via uninhibitedandunrepentant)